


The Five Times McCoy And Spock Wound Up Sleeping Together And The First Time They Really Wanted To

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Star Trek Incandescent Hearts [47]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alien Planet, Apologies, Bickering, Blue Moon (Song), Caves, Chocolate, Chocolate Reference, Compliant Spock, Compromising, Cuddling & Snuggling, Curious Kirk, Dancing, Developing Relationship, Diamonds, Disappointed Kirk, Drinking, Drunkenness, Exotic Birds, Explanations, First Kiss, First Time, Fumigating, Holding Hands, Hotels, Huddling For Warmth, Ice cave, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Losing Face, M/M, Moonlight, Native Fauna, Native Flora, Protective Spock, Ranting McCoy, Shore Leave, Sleeping On Floor, Snuggling, Symbiotic Relationship, Zine: Spiced Peaches, country club, creepy crawlies, dock, forced living together, inadequacy, lake, ranting, sleeping in same bed, song related, symbiosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-02-10 04:48:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18653218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: Through a rash of odd circumstances, McCoy and Spock sleep together literally until they have to face their true feelings for each other on shore leave.Published in Spiced Peaches LVI.





	1. The Invasion Of The Creepy Crawlies

I don't think this is gonna work," McCoy announced as he looked around with a jaundiced eye at the exotic, yet sparse surroundings before him. "This just ain't gonna work out at all," he grumbled to Spock who stood beside him. It'd been one thing to visit Spock here. It was Spock's home and it reflected his aura and personality and mystic. It was another thing to have to call it home for awhile himself, no matter how short McCoy's residing there might eventually be.

Nothing about these quarters seemed comfortable or inviting to McCoy. They had too much of a foreign and untamed quality about them, as if Attila the Hun had designed them in one of his nomadic jaunts across the wild, windswept plains of Eastern Europe or the Russian steppes. It didn't look like a place where a guy could kick back and relax.

McCoy grimaced. The grimace was not lost on Spock. He could not see what was there or perhaps wasn't there, not the way that McCoy apparently could.

McCoy's critical eye even had Spock looking at his quarters with a new vision as if he were a stranger finding them as lacking in livability as McCoy did. Spock felt first puzzled and at sea, then offended, then defensive, as anyone would.

McCoy scanned the scene. "Everything's so stark in here. Did you ever think of hanging a couple of Folk Art samplers on the wall instead of those things that look like war masks from South America? Or prints of English hunting dogs instead of African spears? And maybe a flowered drape instead of that heavy thing that looks like you stole it outa a brothel?"

"Those are not spears from Africa nor did the drape come from a brothel--"

"Well, wherever in the hell they're from, you could've picked touches to bring more of the illusion of home--"

"I did. Vulcan is a masculine, harsh, unforgiving planet."

"Well, I guess I'll have to make do, if and when I have to." He did nothing to hide his displeasure.

Spock decided just to let McCoy wind down. Sometimes that was the best tactic to use with him.

McCoy apparently thought that Spock had lost interest or the thread of the conversation, because it was at this point that McCoy decided to remind him about the major topic of this conversation. If he'd been thinking clearly, McCoy would have realized that Spock had neither picked the topic nor had been the one to cause the situation in the first place. By this time, though, McCoy was not in the mood for logic or reasoning. And Spock was even beginning to question his own powers in those areas.

"Well, come on, I'll help you carry your gear to my quarters."

"I can manage myself--"

"Then you can help me, see how that works?" he asked as they walked toward his quarters.

Now Spock understood McCoy's helpfulness. McCoy would probably have all sorts of flotsam to haul around.

“I still don’t know why we had to bunk together,” McCoy grumbled again just in case Spock hadn’t realized his displeasure the first couple of times he’d mentioned it about having to accommodate his uninvited houseguest. McCoy certainly wasn't putting out the welcome mat any.

Spock did not allow himself the luxury of the sigh that he wanted to voice. That would only fuel McCoy’s disgruntled tirade further. And it would probably only abet McCoy and send him into more of a rant about their being housed together. After all, it wasn't Spock's fault, but he was going to get to shoulder the brunt of McCoy's ire.

While Spock generally believed that officers should present a united front (at least to the enlisted personnel, much as parents should before their children), he was having problems siding with McCoy on general principle. Not that he didn’t agree with what McCoy was saying now. Spock just did not like the idea of being in accordance with McCoy about anything. Then, too, he disliked the idea of them sharing a room for whatever reason, even if it was a perfectly sound one. 

“It will not be for very long, Doctor,” Spock said reasonably. “Just until this minor crisis has abated, and I can return to my quarters.”

“Not for very long?! What is your definition for ‘not for very long?!’”

“Apparently longer than yours,” Spock answered with the sigh that he intentionally let McCoy hear this time. He had decided that maybe he should let McCoy realize that he was not charmed with the idea of their sharing a room any more than McCoy was.

Wrong choice.

“Why?! What do you have against me?!” McCoy snapped with blazing eyes.

“Doctor.” This discussion was beginning to be tedious and exasperating. McCoy was going to take umbrage with anything he said, it seemed. And if nothing else, McCoy was apparently well prepared to grab anything out of thin air. “I have nothing against you, per say, except for the usual complaints of someone who is accustomed to living by himself as I myself am.” Then he decided to turn the tables on McCoy. “I might equally ask what you have against me?”

That question took McCoy off-guard. “Well, nothing, I suppose.” Then he regained his footing. “It’s just the principle of the thing. Officers shouldn’t have to double up like this. It's not like we're out at the lake for a scouting jamboree.”

“Would it be more logical for officers to be housed in the men’s dorm with the enlisted staff?”

“Well, no, it wouldn’t.” He frowned. “It wouldn’t be appropriate at all. Officers need to maintain their distance for discipline purposes.”

“And as I have already said, it will not be for very long. My quarters along with half of the other quarters belonging to the officers will be fumigated first, then the other half will be done.”

“I still don’t know how only part of the officers’ quarters were affected by the strange pathogen and not the entire area.”

“It is indeed a mystery. We might have unknowingly transported back some undetected organism from that last planet we visited. But it could have a completely different origin. That is why I believe that Jim will see the logic of fumigating the unaffected quarters just as soon as the treated ones are again suitable for habitation.”

“Hmm, that would make sense. Strike while the iron’s hot instead of waiting. Otherwise we might get caught with our pants down.”

Spock looked pained. “Please refrain from using such idioms in my presence, Doctor. A most unsavory picture has just formed in my mind of what that hot iron could do with a man who was caught so unclothed and so unprotected.”

McCoy's eyes flashed with sudden interest. “Why, Mr. Spock, I'm proud of you! You just told a joke!”

“I fail to see the humor in the type of scenario which you have proposed,” Spock countered stiffly with a disapproving look on his face.

“Maybe your staying in my quarters won’t be so boring after all, if you continue to entertain me like this. I can’t wait to hear what you’ll tell me next!”

“I am sorry to inform you that I am not a vaudevillian, so please do not become accustomed to that type of behavior from me. I would be quite anxious about having to do something like that.”

“Come on, man!” McCoy said as he slapped Spock on the arm. “It’ll be fun! Just like Jim always expects. Then, when I have to leave my quarters so they can be fumigated, I’ll bunk in with Jim and you can go back to your little hidey-hole. See? Your career as an entertainer won't have to last very long at all!”

“I expect that Jim will be entertaining Lt. Donaldson in his quarters, to return the favor of getting to share her rooms now.”

“Oh. I forgot about her.”

“The Captain probably will not be too thrilled with you for company in his bed instead of the fair lieutenant. If he has a choice, I expect it will be the young lady whom he will choose.”

“Yeah, he probably will.” Then McCoy brightened. “Hey! It might not be so bad in your digs! I’ll get to spend time in your inner sanctum! Maybe discover the answer to some mysteries about the place. Mysteries such as the question of whether you lure nubile young virgins in there for wicked purposes.”

“I would not place you in the category of nubile young virgins, Doctor.” Spock was just able to contain the annoyance he was feeling about McCoy’s company in his quarters in the near future. The only thing that appeased him would be the anger which McCoy would display from Spock’s twisting his words.

Spock was not disappointed.

“Well, neither would I!” McCoy sputtered. “I am neither nubile nor young, and I sure as hell am not a virgin!”

“Might I suggest that we make the best of a bad situation and try to get along in the interim?” Spock gathered his nerve and plunged ahead because he did not know how the next part of what he was going to say would strike McCoy. “Maybe we can set some perimeters to our behavior.”

“What sort of perimeters?” McCoy asked cautiously.

Spock knew he would have to be fair if McCoy was to agree with what he had to say. “Some ground rules, I believe you would call them.”

“What sort of ground rules?” McCoy was still suspicious, but at least he was listening.

“You will make an effort to keep your clothing hung up and properly housed.”

“Are you questioning my housekeeping abilities?!”

Spock wanted to agree wholeheartedly with that question, but knew he mustn’t.

“And I will not insist on the thermostat being raised to a comfortable level for me.”

Amazement washed the suspicion off McCoy’s face. “You’ll freeze!”

“We will each be making sacrifices.”

“We will, won't we? Alright, when you're my guest, I’ll turn the thermostat up some and try to keep my quarters clutter free.”

Spock blinked. It was going to be that easy to get McCoy to compromise?

Spock conceded, also. “And I will use an extra blanket and will keep my meditation rug rolled up when not in use. After all, it could be just as much clutter to you as discarded clothing is to me.”

McCoy grinned. “You know, we just might get through this crisis without killing each other.”

“I am certain that the Captain will be most happy with that prospect.”

“There is one thing," McCoy said, rather dubiously because he had just realized the possible awkwardness of this problem now before them. "The, ah, sleeping arrangements.”

“I will take your sofa, Doctor,” Spock proposed graciously. "After all, I am the guest. I should abide with whatever accommodations that are available for my use. I cannot expect to impose further upon your hospitality by assuming you should be willing to share your narrow sleeping cot. Both of us would be uncomfortable, as we are both accustomed to sleeping alone."

“Fair enough,” McCoy said with relief. “And just to show you that I’m a gracious host, I’ll let you use the bathroom first. Then it’s to bed for the both of us.”

So they each retired to their allotted beds, separate in McCoy's quarters but sleeping together in a literal sense.


	2. Round Two Of The War Against The Creepy Crawlies

As predicted, McCoy had to bunk in with Spock when it was time for his quarters to be fumigated. Kirk had held his breath all the while that Spock had stayed in McCoy’s rooms, wondering if Scotty's assignment would cause a rift in Spock and McCoy's friendship. All the while, there seemed to be an undercurrent between the two and an uneasy peace. But still it was peace, and Kirk was willing to accept whatever crumbs he was granted. As much as he liked McCoy, he was no Lt. Donaldson and Kirk did not want a change in roommates.

Now Kirk wondered what would happen when Spock was playing host. He hated to stir up anything, but curiosity just got the best of Kirk. Even the mighty succumb to gaining knowledge that well might double back on him to bite him in the ass. But Kirk just had to know before all hell broke loose between Spock and McCoy.

“Is it going alright with you two?” Kirk finally asked McCoy while they were eating together in the mess hall and Spock wasn’t with them.

"It's going," McCoy muttered back absently.

"No, ah, problems cropping up that you can't handle? No declarations of a major war looming on the horizon? Or even the possibility of a minor skirmish?"

McCoy could tell when Kirk was being tongue in cheek. Kirk could barely contain his apparent glee with the disruption in McCoy's life. And that didn't set too well McCoy, so he decided to let Kirk know where he stood on the whole situation. "Think about it for a minute, will you?!" McCoy snapped back. "What are your eyes telling you?!" His eyes narrowed. "You haven’t seen any major blood loss from either one of us, have you?! No broken bones? No unexplained bruises or strange gastric complaints? No glassy eyes or loss of memory?”

“Not yet,” Kirk returned, perhaps stronger than he generally would have. He didn't like being the target of McCoy's venom and decided to let McCoy know it.

Kirk’s crisp answer subdued McCoy and reminded him that Kirk was, after all, still in charge and should be accorded the proper respect that went with his position. 

“And I don’t want to,” Kirk added, softer now, because he knew that McCoy intended no disrespect. Not really. McCoy was just being McCoy. Kirk also knew that McCoy wasn’t as angry with his present accommodations as he was with the disruption in his routine.

“Don’t worry,” McCoy muttered. “I know how to leave bruises so they don’t even show.”

Kirk knew that McCoy was only bluffing. He wouldn't deliberately hurt Spock, no matter how much he blustered. “Yeah, but just remember that Spock’s the guy who does the Vulcan Nerve Pinch. I wouldn’t mess with anybody who can do that.”

McCoy’s sense of humor finally returned and he grinned. “You’ve got a good point there. Don’t worry about us, Jim. Spock or I would be the chief suspect if something happened to the other guy. So we have to take good care of each other to ensure our own integrity.”

Kirk gave him a lazy grin. “And here I thought it was because you liked each other.”

McCoy stiffened and his smile disappeared. “Let’s not get sticky about it! We’re not setting up housekeeping or anything stupid like that! We’re just baching! Just for a little while and then that's it! And I wish certain people would remember that!” He jumped to his feet and stomped away.

Kirk blinked. He hoped that Spock was more approachable about their situation. Then he remembered that it probably wasn’t half as funny to the guys involved as it was to other people. They probably weren't having as much fun together as he was having with Lt. Donaldson.

 

“So. Spock,” Kirk greeted as Spock appeared for his shift on the bridge a few days later. “How are you and your roomie getting along?”

“I do not know, Captain,” Spock answered absently with just a touch of worry to his face and voice. “Dr. McCoy was not in residence last night. That is why I am late. I glanced in sickbay, but I did not see him. I do not know where he could possibly be.”

“You didn’t go far enough in sickbay.”

“Captain?”

“He sat up all night with a patient in isolation.”

Spock frowned. “Someone else could have done that. An intern, perhaps. Dr. McCoy needs his proper rest.”

Kirk gave him a lazy grin. “Now, Spock, you know that and I know that. But we also know that McCoy’s going to do just what he darned well wants to do, and that includes wearing himself out with his good intentions. All we can do is pick up the pieces and put him back together afterwards. Just like he does for us when we do something stupid but well meaning.”

Spock arched an eyebrow which gave him a tired, put-upon expression and reflected the exasperation that he was feeling. “I suppose you are right, Captain.”

“Of course I am. Now, let’s get to work. And, ah, Spock?” he said glancing up at his friend.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Good luck. With putting him back together.”

The Vulcan eyebrow arched higher. “Thank you, Captain. I will probably need it. Dr. McCoy can get rather testy when he suspects that someone is trying to take care of him.”

Kirk smirked. "Noticed that, eh?"

"Sometimes it is difficult to miss," Spock said with a sigh.

"That it is, Mr. Spock. That it is," Kirk agreed with a tolerant smile as he turned toward the forward viewing screen. Spock was showing all the signs of the classic hen with one chick. It was kind of cute, but Kirk realized that neither Spock nor McCoy would appreciate Kirk's making reference to his observation, no matter how much Kirk would like to share.

 

Spock quietly entered his dim and equally quiet quarters. He did not want to awaken McCoy if he was sleeping, which apparently he was doing from the lack of noise. Yet the quarters did not feel empty as they generally did when Spock entered them. Sometimes, when he thought about the hollowness that greeted him, he dreaded the solitude. Then he would turn on machinery and its pleasant hum would make his quarters feel occupied again.

A glance showed Spock that McCoy was not on the sofa, though. A crumpled blue tunic was carelessly draped over its edge, however. Messy again, Spock thought grimly as he retrieved the discarded garment and lay it at the foot of the sofa. Then he wondered why he’d gone to so much effort when he saw how wrinkled it was. Apparently, McCoy had been considering a sonic shower at some time, but had gotten no further than removing his tunic. A body imprint was on the sofa, as if McCoy had lain there awhile, then had arisen again.

But McCoy was somewhere in the quarters, because Spock continued to feel his presence. He barely glanced at the bathroom door because he knew that Kirk was in there. That’s where Kirk had been heading when he’d left Spock just a moment before.

That left only one place that McCoy could be. The bed.

And he was. Looking like he’d been tossed there by some horrendous brute force rather than simply lying down on his own, McCoy lay on his side, sprawled all over one half of Spock’s bed.

As if he had saved part of it for me, Spock thought, then dismissed it as idle prattling. They did not do thoughtful things for each other. 

Spock frowned.

Or did they?

While it was true that they were becoming considerate as they learned each one’s preferences, surely they hadn’t reached the stage of knowing what the other one would like in other matters. Surely they weren’t anticipating the needs of the other. They couldn’t be! That sounded so, so domestic of them!

Enough second guessing, Spock reprimanded himself. 

McCoy was clothed in his black tee-shirt and slacks. His hands were clasping his bare elbows as if he had gotten chilled and was seeking warmth where it didn't exist. Spock decided that he looked cold, so he pulled a blanket over McCoy, studied him a moment as McCoy gratefully snuggled into the blanket, and then went to work at his computer.

At Spock’s bedtime, he gingerly lay down on his bed beside McCoy and pulled part of the blanket over himself. Sure he could have slept on his sofa, but he thought that the warmth of his body would be welcomed by McCoy. And it seemed to be as McCoy drew closer and hovered near Spock.

Spock was amazed that he did not mind the proximity of McCoy's sleeping body at all. In fact it was rather comforting to him. He glanced at McCoy who lay with his head turned toward him.

It was amazing how young McCoy looked when he was asleep and worry-free. McCoy's mouth was curved in a soft smile which made his whole face seem somewhat... pleasant. Spock wondered what it would be like if McCoy looked at him like that all the time instead of just occasionally.

McCoy stirred and reached out, as if searching for something. Spock touched McCoy’s hand to settle him down before he awoke. To Spock’s amazement, McCoy kept the hand, placed his other one on top of it, and settled the whole collection under his cheek. Then he smiled in his sleep, sighed, and nestled his face against the pile of hands.

Spock dared not retrieve his hand for fear of awakening McCoy.

Somehow it seemed right for McCoy to be holding his hand. Spock found that he was receiving a great deal of comfort from it, also. It was almost as pleasant as his hope that McCoy could be pleasant with him all of the time. He was finding that he did not mind McCoy being in residence as time progressed. It was nice having company. His quarters had a nice feel about them. He suddenly realized that he felt contented and that surprised him. Companionship certainly had its merits.

McCoy sighed in his sleep and smiled. Spock decided that McCoy must be feeling the same contentment which he felt. Then Spock sighed, too, and was soon asleep. 

Hours later, McCoy awoke with the awareness of a body lying close to his. For one moment, he thought that he was married again and that Jocelyn was with him and that Joanna lay asleep in the next room. He was filled with a contentment which he had not known for a long while.

Then suddenly, that illusion was gone. Jocelyn and Joanna were not with him. They were countless miles away from him. Jocelyn was further away emotionally than even that.

But someone was with him.

He opened his eyes and could see a nest of folded hands in front of his face.

Three hands.

And one of them was green.

McCoy froze and tried not to jerk. Spock must be with him. That shadowy form he could see when he swept his eyes downward must be Spock. Asleep. Beside him.

Wonder of wonders.

McCoy closed his eyes, grinned, and wiggled in contentment.

I’ll be damned!

Spock! Here! With me! Like we were buddies or something!

When McCoy awoke the next time, Spock was gone and the room had the definite feel of emptiness about it. McCoy realized that he missed him.


	3. The Good Ol' "Trapped In An Ice Cave Together" Incident

They weren’t even supposed to be together on this mission, but somehow they were together anyway. Spock had gotten into the habit of protecting McCoy by this time, so he trailed along after the good doctor just because it seemed like the natural thing to do. It saved him time if he had to hunt McCoy up later, and this way Spock wouldn't be absentmindedly wondering about McCoy's whereabouts and safety. And McCoy didn't mind Spock's presence, because by this time he was used to Spock being with him. It felt kind of natural.

Besides, McCoy was so fascinated by what he was seeing on this alien planet that he probably wasn’t really paying the greatest amount of attention anyway to his surroundings. It was a good thing, therefore, that he had a good buddy looking out for his welfare.

“Just look at this place!” McCoy declared with a sweep of his hand at the view before them. “This must be Paradise!” His eyes shone with the marvels he was seeing. A glistening world bursting with vibrant colors and fruit-laden trees lay before them while exotic birds flew overhead in the clear, azure sky. If Mother Nature had anything to do with the Afterlife, this would be most people's expectation of it. “Or maybe we’ve just died and gone to Heaven, because this is what I think that Heaven must surely look like!”

Spock glanced suspiciously at the perfect world they’d found. “Do not be too quick to assume anything about this planet, Doctor. All may not be as it seems. Beauty is sometimes deceiving and hides some evil which would be better undisclosed.”

McCoy gave him a sour look. “Well, if you ain’t just a bucket of joy to be around today! Just what the hell is your problem, anyway?! It's beautiful here! Enjoy it for what it's worth!" He raised his head in wonderment as he stretched his arms up to encompass the area around them. "Live for the moment! Stretch yourself a little! Go wild and crazy for once, just so you can see how the rest of the universe enjoys itself! Hell, take a chance! You might find that you like doing something just because it's fun!"

"I am just saying that it would be prudent to exercise caution. After all, this is a foreign world to us."

"I know that! I'm not dumb enough to put my arm inside an alligator's mouth just to see how far down his throat I can reach!"

"Whatever made you think of an alligator?" Spock asked with a frown.

"It's just an example!"

"Not a very appropriate one, however. Hopefully, we will not chance upon any reptiles the size of an alligator."

"If we do, you can be damn sure that I'll get nowhere close to his mouth or any other part of him!"

"That is reassuring to know. In the meanwhile, proceed as if alligators are lurking behind every bush."

"Oh, hell," McCoy muttered as he turned aside. "You’d probably be suspicious of a litter of newborn kittens.”

“That would depend on whether the kittens were the product of domestic cats or had been sired by mountain lions with hunger issues.”

“If you were gonna be all negative like this, why didn’t you just stay back on the Enterprise like Jim wanted you to do? I could play at being Science Officer as well as being the Medic on this away mission.”

“You could not perform both duties, Doctor.”

“The hell I couldn’t! You do it all the time! Think you’re better qualified than me?!”

“No, Doctor,” Spock said with exaggerated patience. “I simply believe that you should not be with this landing party until the safety of the planet is ascertained more completely.”

“In other words, my place in this man’s army is in the rear echelon. Or maybe somewhere even further back than that.”

“I did not say that, Doctor. You make it sound as if I believe that you are incapable or incompetent while I believe that you should be cautious and prudent.”

“Spock, it’s not like I’m breaking off this shiny, olive-colored leaf and eating it as a snack!” With that, he reached up and snapped off a leaf from the nearest tree.

“Doctor, please do be careful. The sap from the leaf may be poisonous.”

“Well, if you ain’t just a Nervous Nellie today. Hmm. Let's take a closer look at this potential danger to my very life. If it's gonna be a threat, it's certainly acting docile enough at the moment."

"Dangers can be well disguised."

"That they may. Hmm," he said as he studied the culprit lying innocently between his fingers. "It’s an ovate shaped leaf, like it’s off an ash tree.” He glanced up into the tree’s branches. “But this isn’t like any ash tree I’ve ever seen before. This one has some luscious looking red berries in convenient clusters, too. It’d be real easy to reach up and get a handful to eat. I bet they'd be real tasty," he said, just to get a rise out of Spock. And he did.

“I caution you not to ingest that, please.”

McCoy looked insulted. “Now, do I look like a clumsy bear after his supper?”

“I would trust a hungry bear more,” Spock groused. “It naturally knows what is eatable and what is not. It also does not touch an unfamiliar food source.”

“Are you saying that a damn bear has more sense than I do?!”

“You are the one holding an unknown alien leaf in your hand, not a bear,” Spock muttered as he turned aside.

“Fine!” McCoy tossed the leaf away in disgust. 

A low rumbling was heard near them, as if something was displeased with what McCoy had just done.

“What was that?!” McCoy demanded, looking around.

“Probably the tree objecting to your discarding its leaf so wastefully,” Spock muttered back.

“It’s not like I could very well restore it back to its original state now, could I?! The tree’s just gonna have to learn to live without one single leaf! Otherwise, it’s gonna go through one helluva trauma come autumn! It’ll faint when its leaves start falling.”

“I do not know how this particular tree would react to that circumstance, but I am more concerned about something else at the moment.” Spock’s eyes narrowed. “I do not remember that cave being over there, do you?”

“No, I don’t,” McCoy answered as they walked toward it.

“The stream at the base of the tree seems to be coming from inside the cave.”

“That rumbling we heard… Was that the cave opening up?” He gave Spock a sharp look. “Did we just upset some sort of balance around here?”

Spock couldn't help it. He gave McCoy an aggravated glare that was a cross between "What do you mean 'We?'" and "I told you so." Whatever Spock was thinking, his face showed little compassion for McCoy and his rash actions, actions that Spock had warned him about.

McCoy looked wild. “Do you suppose that something wants retribution for that lost leaf?”

“A leaf for a leaf? I do not know.” A tiny, small part of Spock felt just a little satisfaction for McCoy's concern. Spock would never let anything hurt McCoy, if Spock could prevent it. But McCoy could have listened to Spock's warnings. And look at McCoy now, heedless again, dashing recklessly into that yawning hole in the side of that hill....

“Just look inside this cave, Spock! There’s diamonds everywhere! We’re rich!”

“Doctor, perhaps we should wait for the rest of the crew before we enter.”

“Let’s just take a quick look! Besides, we’re explorers, aren’t we? Let’s explore!”

“It is cold in here,” Spock noted, looking around, as he followed McCoy.

“Oh, you’re always cold. And caves are naturally cold.”

“No, it is more than that.” He peered at the wall. “I believe that your ‘diamonds’ are crystals which are emitting enough light for us to see.” He took a closer look. “Actually, the crystals are ice, not mineral based. That accounts for the cold. But there are no diamonds here.”

“Well, if that ain’t just typical!” McCoy said with a sigh. “Can't trust in anything being what it seems at first. No diamonds, and they looked so promising. Goodbye, millions then.”

“Right at the moment, I am more concerned with the facts that it is getting colder in here and that our route out of this cave seems to have disappeared.”

“What the hell?!” McCoy turned and saw nothing but diamonds twinkling behind them. “Why didn’t you say something quicker?!”

“I believe that the phenomenon just occurred.”

McCoy studied the crystal wall. “What are those colors inside the diamonds? It looks like… birds! Spock! It’s those beautiful birds we saw flying around outside! They’re sealed inside this ice!”

“I doubt that these are the same birds we observed. Perhaps these are the ancestors of them.”

“What the hell is going on?!” McCoy shouted with large eyes.

“I believe that what we are observing is a very clever symbiosis between the ice in this cave and the trees outside. The cave provides water to the trees while their leaves and berries lure food inside the cave to be ingested by the ice. The cave must require first class protein to survive. And the trees provide the bird farm, if you will, to supply that first class protein for the cave. Fascinating.”

“Are you saying that we’re intended to become a food source for this cave?! Since we could be described as first class protein as well?!”

“Doctor, there is no need to yell. I am standing right beside you.”

“Given the circumstances, I think that it’s a very good time to yell!”

“Doctor, that will not help our situation.”

“Neither will detached reasoning!”

Impressed, Spock raised an eyebrow. “Quite astute and logical. You are improving with your thinking processes, Doctor. A very good example of cause and effect.”

“Well, I’m happy that you approve. Now, how do we get out of this situation?”

“Even at this moment, Jim will be searching for us. Until he finds us, we will wait.”

“I’m glad you’ve got faith in him. Jim's good, but he's not infallible. He has no idea where we are. He's gotta have some clue where to start hunting.”

“I have turned on my communicator. It will act as an emergency signaling device.* While we wait, I suggest that we sit down and put our arms around each other.”

“You wanna cuddle?!” McCoy demanded. "Now?!"

“Doctor, it will not be cuddling. We are simply going to be combining our body heat. It is only logical.”

"This is very nice, Spock," McCoy admitted from deep within their encircling arms. "In fact, it's kinda cozy and it's making me sleepy."

"And sleep will seem to shorten the time until Jim finds us."

"You warm enough?" McCoy asked with a yawn.

"I am now," Spock said with a happy smile as he submitted to his own drowsiness.

When Kirk and the others finally cut their way through the ice nearly an hour later, they found Spock and McCoy asleep in each others’ arms.

“Sure look like they’re in dire straits,” Kirk muttered as the two roused from their slumbers. But he did not reprimand them for worrying him. He was too happy to see that they were alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"The communicator is a fictional device used for voice communication in the fictional universe of Star Trek. As seen in at least two instances, the Original Series episodes "Tomorrow Is Yesterday" and "Day of the Dove," it can also serve as an emergency signaling device/beacon, similar to a transponder. The communicator allows direct contact between individuals or via a ship's communication system." (As stated in the Wikipedia article 'Communicator (Star Trek).')
> 
> I do not own anything of Wikipedia. The above quote is included for referencing purposes only.


	4. The Party Guests Who Would Not Leave

“You guys were well on your way to becoming lollypops when we found you, and that's the gospel truth!" Jim Kirk frowned as he fought to concentrate on what he was saying. His closest male friends on the Enterprise were present in his quarters for a well deserved time to wind down after Spock and McCoy's harrowing adventure that had nearly ended in disaster for them.

"It would've taken several days for us to have frozen," McCoy said reasonably. "With our weight and body masses being what they are, it would've been a long time before we would've become lollypops." He frowned in thought. "Or even a decent slushy."

But Kirk would not be denied his moment of glory. "I'm just saying that it was colder than hell inside that ice cave,” he slurred, shivering from the memory of that cave and the very real danger that his friends had faced. But now the only danger was that he had imbibed too much liquor too quickly. Already he was having trouble forming words. And the evening felt like it had just started, even though he could swear that they had been having a drinking party in his quarters for hours. One proof of it was the sleeping form of Scotty nearby. “I doubt that you guys are thawed out even yet. I thought that I was gonna have to dump you in a hot tub and set the controls on whirl. I didn’t wanna chance blending you two, though. That woulda been a terrible travesty of fate. Terrible!” He giggled as he swayed slightly. “Can you imagine that? Two guys, each half Spock and each half McCoy? How could we ever keep you separated? What we call you?” he asked them, then beamed a wide grin. Mock and Spoy? "

“You had a sound principle, though,” McCoy answered thoughtfully as he considered the science.

“What? Blending you two guys?”

“No, no. Hell, no! I doubt if the universe is ready for that, let alone the Enterprise! No, the idea of putting two ice cubes in a liquid and stirring. Ice melts faster in a glass of water if it's jiggled around awhile by the person drinking the contents.”

“My thoughts exactly!” Kirk punched McCoy in the chest with his finger. “We make one helluva team, don’t we?!”

“That we do, my dear Captain!” McCoy winked, saluted him with his glass, and took a swig from it without spilling too much.

“Almost as much as Spock and me.” Kirk gave Spock a sloppy smile with hooded eyes. “Or you and Spock.”

“Let’s not go throwing cold water on this party,” McCoy grumbled.

“Now, you can’t deny that you and Spock would’ve been goners if you hadn’t worked together to stay alive in that ice cave. That was clever, snuggling together to conserve heat.”

“One of the oldest survival tricks in the book,” McCoy countered. “I learned it from watching old Twentieth Century western movies. Learned it along with chewing on cactus for water and tying a kerchief around my face in a sandstorm.” He frowned. “Of course, not a whole lot of it has come in handy until now. And the Vulcan was the one who suggested it, not me.”

“No, shit!” Kirk said with admiration. “Spock! Did you watch the same old Westerns that McCoy did when you were a kid?!”

Spock focused himself with effort. He had been indulging in a delightful world filled with his fondest musings. His mental wanderings had been provided by a most excellent chocolate narcotic, and he was loath to think about anything else except those ambrosia clouded dreams that had been pleasing him so much. But his captain had asked him a direct question, and he must answer. Not because he had to, but because he would do anything for his dear captain.

Yes, his mind had been wondering, but now he would make a concerted effort to focus because he had been addressed directly. He had been happily listening to the verbal exchange between Kirk and McCoy as if it was a distant, but comforting buzzing. The words and their meanings had not been as important to him as the fact that two of his favorite people were safe and communicating with each other about safe topics. He got as much reassurance from their conversation as if he had been listening to nearby honeybees busily producing honey on a hot, still summer afternoon. It all meant that no one was in danger and everyone was happy with his life and situation. And if they were contented, then so was Spock.

But now he had to concentrate, concentrate, because Kirk and McCoy wanted him in their immediate circle. And that inclusion by them made his world complete. He had not realized that he had been searching for just such an inclusion since he had been a small child. But now that he had found it with the crew and officers of the Enterprise, he never wanted to be without it again. So he would try to give Kirk a good answer, because Spock had learned that he had to work at relationships if he wanted to stay included in that magical circle which now meant family to him.

But he felt that he needed to summarize what had been asked him, just so he understood the question and did not answer incorrectly. Sometimes Earthlings talked in a sort of shorthand that included idioms and vague references to completely unrelated matters which seemed to make sense to them, even if the references and idioms made no sense to Spock. So he had to be always vigilant, but thankfully the Earthlings were patient with him. Even when his misunderstandings sent Dr. McCoy into a classic rant, Spock realized that McCoy would still stay friends with him. That realization was always a relief to Spock.

"Captain, I believe that you asked me if I had watched the same old Westerns that Dr. McCoy did when he was growing up?"

Kirk gave him a lazy grin. "That I did, my man."

“Sadly I did not experience the same motion pictures that related the saga of the American Western myth when I was a youth. It would have been most instructive to have matured while having such an idealized example of heroic behavior to follow. Dr. McCoy and you and Mr. Scott and other Earthlings were lucky to have such role-models during your upbringing.”

“Damn straight!” McCoy muttered. “But what’s this? Our Mr. Spock believing in luck? I thought that you did not believe in luck, Spock!”

“I do not. Sadly, I must apologize for the sloppiness of my thinking processes this evening.” He weaved a little. “I believe that my over-consumption of chocolate is beginning to impair my judgment.” He hiccuped and shyly put a hand to his mouth in embarrassment.

“Here, damn it!” McCoy grabbed Spock’s arm before the weaving Vulcan could fall. “Watch it! You're gonna take a tumble!” 

Spock resisted. “I am perfectly capable of steering myself around this room under my own steerage.” He frowned at the use of the same word twice in one sentence, but could not think of a proper synonym to replace it. Besides, McCoy was happily onto something else, and Spock had to listen or else he would lose the thread of what McCoy was saying.

“Well, maybe I’m not capable of getting outa your way anymore. You'd hurt me if you knocked me down. Did you ever think of that?!"

"No, Doctor, I do not. I would not wish to cause you bodily injury."

"Damn Vulcan! Thinking of others before yourself! Don't you have any sense of self-preservation?"

Spock gave him a sloppy smile. "I do not have to. You take such good care of me."

"Let's not get sticky. Here. How about us sitting on the floor over here and leaning on this nice solid wall. That way all of us will be much safer. Watch it. Careful now.” He gingerly helped Spock down.

“That is much better, Doctor,” Spock told him.

“I told you that it would be! Now maybe we can show Jim just how it was to be trapped in that ice cave, you know when we had our arms around each other."

"I remember that. I was nice and warm on that occasion."

"I thought you would," McCoy muttered. Then he shivered. "I’m starting to feel chilly down here anyway. Come on, scoot into my arms. We’ll warm up in no time at all.” 

Spock focused his blurry eyes. “Jim could turn up the thermostat.”

“We don’t need to cook him and Scotty! Not when we can take care of this heating problem ourselves!”

“We could get off the floor.”

“Now how is that a good idea?!” McCoy reasoned logically as he pulled his arms around Spock who did not protest this time. “If we stand up, we’ll just put ourselves in danger of falling down again. This way, we’re already down. Danger averted.”

Spock gave him a mellow look with a lopsided smile aiding it. “You are so intelligent, Leonard.”

“Of course I am.”

“Why did I never realize it before?”

Kirk snickered, and McCoy glared.

“Because you’re a lop-eared jackass, that’s why!”

“And here I thought that I was a Vulcan!” Spock wailed.

“Shh, shh,” McCoy consoled him as he tightened his arms around Spock’s shoulders. “It’ll be alright. You just need a little more chocolate, that’s all.”

“You are so good to me, Leonard,” Spock whined.

“That’s what I keep telling you, too.”

“Will we do what we did in the ice cave? Will we melt ice with our body heat and freeze to the floor? I do not wish to do that, Doctor. It hurt when Jim and Mr. Scott broke the ice as they pulled me to my feet. I thought that I had left a layer of my skin back on that cave floor.”

“You didn’t even leave your pants bottom back there. It just felt like it.”

“I do not wish to have that experience again. It hurt my glutinous maximus and the deposits of fat tissue surrounding it.”

“Well, it was a pain in the ass to me, too, but it’s over now. We’ll just sit here and rest for awhile. Our mutual body heat will warm us up, just like it did back in that ice cave.”

“Keep me warm, Doctor.”

“I will. Everything will be alright now.”

They both nodded off and the room quieted.

Kirk frowned as he looked at Scotty asleep in his recliner and Spock and McCoy huddled together on the floor.

“Guys? I’ve got a suggestion. Party’s over, it seems. Time to go home. Why don’t you go back to your own quarters now."

When he got no answer except for soft snoring and some garbled Scottish expression from Scotty, Kirk sighed and covered them all with blankets. Then he crawled onto his own bed and went to sleep with a contended smile. He loved the feel of fullness that the presence of his friends gave to his quarters.

All the children were accounted for and under his care. Kirk could rest soundly knowing that he was a good person.


	5. The Not-So-Peaceful Shore Leave

Leonard McCoy's eyes were flashing with anger, just in case anyone within hearing distance of him thought otherwise about the latest crisis which had befallen him or of his opinion of that crisis. “I just wanna know one thing! Who in the blue blazin' hell thought that it would be alright for Spock and me to room together?!”

Kirk shuffled his feet and couldn't quite meet the eyes of the third person in the room, the apparently questionable person known as Spock. “Well, I thought that you wouldn’t mind, Bones,” Kirk answered feebly. "After all, it's just Spock."

The three Enterprise officers stood just inside the contested hotel room in question. At first appearance, it seemed like a normal wayside room that would be offered for the use of intergalactic travelers seeking a few days of well earned shore leave. The innocent looking quarters appeared to have no knowledge of the battle being waged about its immediate occupancy. It was there simply to please and was prepared to do so now, no matter the discomfort of two of the men now in it or the anger of the third. For a much more experienced room, this should have been its first clue that all did not bode well for a happy future with its two prospective guests.

“I figured that it'd be okay with both of you guys. You two have been getting along so well together lately… or so I thought,” Kirk finished lamely. 

“That’s because we’ve been staying away from each other! Like always!”

Jim Kirk was puzzled and wanted to contradict McCoy. He thought that he could read people better than this, especially these two. Especially his friends and what he had seen going on between them lately. That hadn't been the picture of strangers or even casual acquaintances which Kirk had observed. Visions of McCoy and Spock locked in each others’ arms in the alien planet’s ice cave and again with their arms around each other on the floor of his own quarters the night of their drinking party flashed before his eyes. He could’ve sworn that his friends were being downright chummy at those times. And despite the peculiar circumstances they had been facing, they had seemed to be making the best of a bad situation. Really the best of a bad situation.

“But it seems that I may have misinterpreted….” he said lamely.

“There was nothing to misinterpret!” McCoy roared. “End of discussion!”

McCoy had called it right, it seemed. It was the end of the discussion. Kirk couldn’t have said anything just then, even if he’d wanted. Sometimes the Golden Tongue of Star Fleet was just as verbally challenged as any other illiterate simpleton would be when it came to dealing with his two best friends. He was too close to them. It was difficult being impartial and objective with these two guys.

Another reason was that he just didn’t want to be dealing with this situation right now. He longed to be elsewhere, thinking only of himself and of his own immediate needs. Did he have to be Solomon all of the time? Did he have to be constantly ready to solve any problem? Did he always have to be the one with the wisdom? How could he concentrate on this mess when his mind, and certain baser parts of his body, yearned to be elsewhere. Kirk was dying, simply dying, to put the cares and tribulations of leadership behind him and pare his glorious body down to the barest Speedo swimwear that was allowed on the beaches of this vacation complex. Shore leave should be just that: sure leave, even for officers.

But he knew he had to deal with this situation first. That business about them being his best friends could not be ignored (even if his captain duties could), no matter how much that certain baser parts of his body urged otherwise. Now it was as their friend and not as their captain that he stood before them.

Kirk glanced at Spock. The Vulcan looked noncommittal, as he generally tried to do. But Kirk wondered how much that McCoy’s denials were hurting him. Spock had a tender heart, despite his assertions to the contrary. Kirk understood that fact about his friend and tried to shield him from unnecessary pain. Kirk thought that McCoy felt the same way about Spock and tried to protect him. Apparently Kirk was mistaken about that fact, too. 

“Well, ah, Spock, do you mind if you have different accommodations?”

Spock drew himself up and answered according to what he knew was expected of him. “I am willing to be placed wherever it is most convenient for other people.”

Even that didn't seem it please McCoy who muttered, “That’s right. Good, ol' accommodating Spock! What would we ever do without him?! So adjustable! If necessary, he can unroll his meditation rug in the back of a walk-in closest, drape one arm over his eyes, bird-style, and sleep a solid eight hours without snoring once! He could probably even curl up on that rug, call it home, and survive as long as someone tossed him in a crust of bread occasionally and maybe some birdseed for roughage and keep his water cup filled. Yes, sir, he could be so accommodating that we would scarcely know he was here. Or gone.” That last part was said in a particularly hateful manner.

Kirk frowned and wondered at McCoy’s acid remarks. But Spock, Spock was worse. He stared at McCoy without blinking for a long and uncomfortable moment as if in reproach, then quickly gathered together his small amount of belongings, and silently left the room.

“I don’t know what in the hell is the matter with you, Bones,” Kirk said lowly. “All I know is that you are in worse need of shore leave than I’d realized. I sure as hell hope it takes, too, 'cause you're sure in need of it."

"I don't know why you're so upset--"

"You don't?!" Kirk demanded, barely able to keep his anger under control. "Spock is my friend! I don't like what you just did to him!"

"You don't understand--"

"No, I don't! And I sure as hell hope that you do!" Kirk fought for control. "Look," he said as he held out a pleading hand. "You just gutted the sweetest guy I know and for no reason. I hope you get it out of your system before it’s time to go back to the Enterprise, or else that big ship is gonna get mighty small in the next few months. For all of us.” Kirk stalked away, all thoughts of skimpy Speedo swimwear and the beauties it might attract to him forgotten.

McCoy let his breath out in a huff. He had no idea that he had been holding it in that long. Even the room seemed to let out a sigh of relief, and that was so unfair because the culprit was still present. And the culprit was very aware of his guilt, even if he'd tried to act otherwise to Kirk.

McCoy was glad that Kirk hadn’t wanted to know what his problem was, because McCoy did not know if he could explain it himself.

All he knew was that he had been so mixed up since he had awakened in Spock’s arms in Jim’s dim quarters the morning after their drunken party. How could he forget it? He couldn't seem to shake the images from that scene or the feelings that had washed over him. It was the only thing that had seemed real to him since it had happened.

He’d looked around and had seen the shadowy shape of Scotty slumped and softly snoring in Kirk’s easy chair. Since McCoy didn’t see Jim, he figured that he must be asleep in his own comfortable bed. That’s where they all should be, he decided, not strung around Kirk’s quarters as if a tornado had picked them up and scattered them about willy-nilly to collapse wherever they chanced to land.

But what had claimed McCoy’s attention was his current situation. On the floor. Under a blanket which Kirk had probably draped over them. In Spock’s arms.

What had gotten McCoy so much was not that he was in Spock’s arms, but the fact that Spock was clinging to him. Spock didn’t cling to anybody. He made it a big deal of being so damned independent and of not needing anyone. Except for Kirk. And it was almost hero-worship that Spock had for Kirk.

Then if Spock thought so much of Kirk, why hadn’t he been sleeping in Kirk’s arms? Why was he sleeping in McCoy's? No, not just sleeping. Clinging.

McCoy had frozen. He couldn’t handle what this could all mean. What if Spock felt more than friendship for him? Could McCoy handle that? Could he risk his heart again? Could he face the exhilarating highs and the devastating lows of a love affair? 

Then McCoy had faced the biggie, the biggest fear he could think of, and had gotten scared.

Could he be what Spock needed?

McCoy had known one thing for damn sure. He couldn't think logically about his problem while he was tucked nicely in Spock's arms.

As easily as he could, McCoy had slipped out of the blanket and had gently tucked it around the Vulcan shoulder he’d bared. Spock stirred, probably missing McCoy’s warmth and the feel of his body. McCoy waited until Spock quieted again.

“You’re better off without me,” he whispered as his fingertips gently touched Spock’s cheek. He gazed at the sleeping man for a few moments. Then he stood and left Kirk’s quarters as quietly as he could.

Since then, McCoy had tried to keep his distance from Spock. That wasn’t easy since the two of them socialized with Kirk so much. But McCoy found that it was possible to be present, yet distant. There were times when he’d seen a puzzled look from Spock. But Spock didn’t confront him about his aloofness. Good. It was better that way.

And then they had gone on this shore leave where McCoy would see to it that they would have even less contact with each other. It might seem cruel, but it was more humane.

And then they had been assigned to the same room. Kirk must’ve thought that he was doing them a favor.

Kirk thought wrong.

No, this was best, McCoy decided with determination. A clean break. No stickiness. No regrets. A little pain, but no major heartaches with the inevitable breakup happened.

No, it was better this way.

Why, then, did McCoy’s heart already hurt like it was breaking?

McCoy remembered Kirk's parting shot and the bitterness that Kirk had used to deliver it: "I'll get another room for Spock. Sorry, but it'll still have to be in the same building with you. I hope that it'll be far enough away for your tastes. Hopefully you won't feel like he's sleeping right beside you."

McCoy could only nod. How could he even begin to explain his behavior to Kirk when he didn't even understand it himself?


	6. And Love Will Rule The Stars

This really wasn’t what McCoy had thought of when he had been dreaming about the crew’s upcoming shore leave. But like family parties and vacation trips, the anticipation is sometimes better than the actual events. So must be the case with this shore leave, McCoy decided. But he had thought that it would be a helluva lot better than this fizzling mess.

Part of his disappointment rested in the knowledge that he had lost prestige in Kirk’s eyes. He had let down Kirk who had expected more from him. McCoy didn’t blame Kirk for his opinion. McCoy wasn’t his own favorite person at the moment, either. Far from it. In fact, if he could maneuver it, he’d kick himself in the ass for being such a heel. He certainly deserved a good ass kicking, and Kirk should be the first in line to aim his boot to where it’d do the most good. That seemed to be what McCoy was thinking with instead of his brain.

No, no, Kirk should be second in line. First in line should be Spock and his honor.

But Spock would be too much of a gentleman to act, even if all would agree that he’d been sorely misused.

How could he get in these stupid messes, McCoy pondered as he wandered the lonely wooden dock that night in the light of the huge full moon over him. He’d spent a couple of days out in the fresh air and sunshine of this lovely planet, trying to like himself again. It was wonderful to feel the wind on his face and the heat from the sun’s rays and know it was not a simulation. No matter how much the builders of a starship might try to replicate the natural world, there was no substituting the real thing. 

The first afternoon he’d found a stable and had gone horseback riding in the rolling green countryside with its maturing field crops that resembled those of Earth. The second day he’d picnicked with Uhura and Chapel and Scotty in a nearby park and cheered with them as they had watched youngsters playing baseball. The third day he'd visited the municipal library and had researched the history of this agreeable planet. Then he'd walked around the campus of the adjoining university. The seat of learning could’ve been Clemson or Oxford or Osaka University, but it had the feel of permanence and education and refinement about it. And it had satisfied McCoy's aesthetic nature. He always felt at home on a college campus.

So like Earth this planet was. Yet, yet, not Earth, either.

Maybe that was what was getting to him. This place reminded him of Earth, but wasn’t.

This could be his world, but wasn’t.

This could be his life, but wasn’t.

McCoy stopped on the edge of the dock and gazed down into the dark waters gently lapping up against the pilings. He could fill his days. It was the nights, the damned nights, that were driving him crazy.

Soft music gently wafted from the lighted building through the trees behind him. It must be some sort of country club that was hosting some sort of party. Glimpses inside had shown him men in tuxedoes and women in expensive evening gowns. He could crash the party and be accepted among the ranks of party-goers. But it wouldn’t be his world, either.

Then McCoy recognized the lyrics of the 1930's song being sung, and he knew that he could reconstruct the whole scene inside the club just from the music being played. even if he hadn't already seen those attending. He could picture the women with their shingled hair and the slinky dresses they wore, the men in their dapper suits, and the clever conversations being exchanged between them that reflected the screwball comedies of the movies they clustered to in droves. There was a bright brittleness about the whole situation as if the world already felt the stirrings of the war that would consume it in a few short years and wreck the futures of most of those attending this evening. They didn't want to admit to the hysteria that was slowly strangling their joy. Already an uneasiness was making these people feel reckless and adrift as if their whole world was unstable and in danger of being lost forever. 

McCoy could relate to their unrest, and the song lyrics seemed to reflect his own melancholy and personal angst.

"Blue moon,  
You saw me standing alone  
Without a dream in my heart  
Without a love of my own"

Yes, without a love of his own. But maybe there was one waiting for him if he just had the courage to reach out for it and claim it for his own.

"Blue moon  
You knew just what I was there for  
You heard me saying a prayer for  
Someone I really could care for"

Yes, yes, there was someone he really could care for. If only he had the courage. If only he thought that he was good enough. If only.... If only....

Then McCoy sensed that something or somebody was watching him, and he turned toward the music.

Spock stood a few feet away, quietly observing him.

McCoy jerked a little when he saw who it was and hoped that his face was not showing all of the yearnnig and hopelessness that he was feeling. But he feared that it did. McCoy was both thrilled and alarmed. He wanted to see Spock, yet didn't. There was that damned ambivalence again.

“Oh. Spock. I didn’t know you were there.”

“I did not wish to startle you.”

McCoy smirked. “Why? Afraid I’d fall in the water? Or jump?”

Spock frowned. “Would you have done that? Jumped?"

McCoy shrugged. "Who knows?"

"What is the problem, Doctor?”

“I wish I knew,” McCoy answered with a sigh. Which was a lie. But he couldn’t very well tell Spock the truth. Because Spock would want more explanations. And then it would all come out and McCoy couldn’t face it or Spock knowing.

And then it all came out, anyway. At least the apologies.

“Sorry. That’s what I am. Spock. Sorry.”

“Doctor?”

He could tell that wasn’t what Spock had expected to hear, but Spock was going to hear it, whether either one of them wanted the words to be said or not.

“I’m sorry for treating you the way I have been lately. You didn’t deserve it.” McCoy felt an immediate load lifted. He had not realized the weight of the burden he had been carrying. 

“I did not know what I had done wrong.”

“I know you didn’t. It was me, all me.”

“I know that you are uncomfortable around me. Will that continue to be true in the future?”

And just by the way Spock asked it, McCoy knew that the question had been weighing long and hard on Spock’s mind.

“I don’t know.”

“Is there something I could do to alleviate the unease between us?”

“It isn’t your fault! Can’t you understand that?!” He saw Spock flinch and take a step backwards. McCoy held out his hand. “Sorry. But like I said, it isn’t you who caused the problem.”

Spock tried a different tack. 

“Is there anything I can do to help you?”

McCoy gave him a sad smile. Bless his heart. The Vulcan didn’t give up easily.

“Why do you still want to help me?”

“Because you are my friend, Leonard.” Spock seemed reluctant to speak, but was determined to continue. “I will do anything to help you.”

Then McCoy understood something very important about friendship. He had to be enough of a friend to let Spock try to help.

“Anything?"

"If it is within reason. Or not illegal."

McCoy gave him a soft smile. "No, I wouldn't ask you to do anything illegal. Tell you what. Will you dance with me instead?”

“Dance?” Spock repeated as if he did not understand.

“It’s beautiful music. We shouldn’t let it go to waste. Besides, I wanna. But only if you're willing, that is.”

Spock looked relieved as he opened his arms to McCoy. “I would be delighted.”

They quietly shuffled back and forth to the slow two-step.

It felt so good to be here in Spock's arms. Spock hadn't demanded explanations for McCoy's behavior; he was willing to forgive and forget. But McCoy couldn't keep on doing this to Spock. It wasn't right. Even if it was what McCoy wanted, McCoy must think of someone else. Spock was so naïve when it came to matters of the heart.

“This isn't any good for you. I can’t be what you need,” McCoy mumbled at last.

"What are you talking about?" Spock asked as he stopped dancing.

McCoy stepped back from him. “I’ll fail you in time, and you’ll go away like the others did.”

“Why do you say that?”

“When I woke up after that drunken brawl in Jim’s quarters, you were in my arms, clinging to me.” He glanced up at Spock. “Clinging. And I didn’t know if I’d be enough for you. I don’t know if I’d be what you need.”

“Why not let me decide what I need.”

McCoy stared at him. "Uh--"

"This may surprise you, but I am a grown man and quite capable of taking care of myself."

No, you aren't, McCoy wanted to yell. Not when it comes to relationships! You're such a baby! But another part of him wanted to believe what Spock was saying.

"Now there is some beautiful music playing, and I do not want to waste it. I want to share it with you. And we shall." Spock stepped forward, took McCoy in his arms, and began dancing with him again.

“I don't know how you can be so forgiving. How can you even give me another chance?”

"I will give you as many opportunities as you require, Leonard."

"But how can you do that when I clearly don't deserve it--"

“Because I can do nothing else." Spock kept on speaking, even though it was evident that McCoy wanted to contradict him on that, too. "I find that I cannot do without you in my life. And I also find that I do not WANT to do without you in my life. And I shall not. I find that I am quite content to be where you are."

"You keep using 'shall' instead of 'will.'"

"That is because I am very determined that I shall not lose you," Spock affirmed grimly, using the 'shall' word again.

McCoy looked stunned. "How have I ever been able to do that to you? Make you, you know, care for me?" He dared not use the 'L' word. At least not yet. Spock's caring for him was unbelievable enough.

Spock stared into McCoy's eyes. "By being you. You are the most amazing, exasperating, maddening person I have ever known. Each time I think that I know you, you show me a different Leonard McCoy. Why would I ever want to give that up?” He bit his lips together. "Or how? How could I?"

McCoy stared at Spock. He continued the slow dancing shuffle, but his feet were following Spock’s lead automatically.

“Are you sure about all of this?” McCoy finally asked.

“I just know that I wish to try with you. Will you allow me to do that?”

McCoy nodded dumbly.

"That pleases me very much," Spock declared stoutly. The only thing that would have strengthened his vow would've been a clenched fist pounded against his chest, and McCoy figured that would come next if he didn't acknowledge Spock's gesture.

"Do you think you could at least smile when you say that?" McCoy asked woodenly. "So I can realize that I am not dreaming or it's wishful thinking on my part or something like that? So that I know that you even like the idea about what's happening with us?"

"I am still amazed that you are hearing me out. Smiling may take a while longer for me to achieve."

"I know the feeling. It all seems a little surreal." He glanced around. "Of course, it could just be this place. But happy endings don't come to guys like us. Our skies generally stay dark."

This was something that Spock could help change. His lips curled up ever so slightly and his dark eyes glowed with the warm feelings inside him. "I promise that I will light up the skies for you," Spock said as he pulled McCoy closer to him. "If you will only allow it."

"Oh, okay," McCoy mumbled, mesmerized by that delightful body pressed up against his so nicely and firmly.

"Just as I know that you will light up mine." An eyebrow arched up as a smile wreathed Spock's face. "And rest assured, Doctor. I will most certainly allow it."

"Oh, okay," McCoy muttered like an idiot, conscious of nothing but the nearness of those tempting lips and other parts of Spock that were pressing against him with urgency.

"I am most happy that I have your consent for what comes next." His eyes twinkled. "I do have your consent... do I not?"

McCoy simply groaned in answer, his nerves shot from longing and anticipation.

Spock's smile deepened. He knew that Leonard McCoy was not going anywhere in the foreseeable future. McCoy couldn't have moved, even if the boat dock caught on fire. Nor did he want to. And with that realization, Spock lowered his head and gently kissed McCoy’s lips.

McCoy was his. Forever, his! And he would guard well this love that was being granted to him. For it was a trust, not a gift. And Spock would treat it accordingly. He would make certain that McCoy understood that as well. But for now, all that Spock wished for McCoy to know was that he wanted him. So, so much. So very, very much. And Spock would let McCoy know that with his mouth, his hands, and his whole body.

"Sweet Heaven--" McCoy mumbled against Spock's mouth. "I never realized it could be this way...."

"Do not talk," Spock growled against McCoy's lips. "It feels funny. Use your mouth for other purposes."

"Yes, sir," McCoy moaned, knowing that he would very soon be surrendering much, much more of himself to Spock. With that thought surging a new heat through him, he groaned, then opened his mouth further and pressed his body forward with all of his pent up emotions finally freed. He believed that both of them were realizing that other, primitive parts of themselves were being freed, also. Or else snakes had gotten loose in their trousers, because something was definitely moving around in their nether regions.

Spock deepened the kiss, too, and robbed them both of speech and sensibilities for several long, delicious moments.

"That was nice," McCoy murmured as he tucked his head into the space between Spock's shoulder and his neck. It was just as comfortable as McCoy had always imagined that it would be.

"It will get better," Spock promised.

McCoy felt a thrill of anticipation that made his eyes glisten with interest as he glanced into Spock's face.

"I promise," Spock vowed to the guy looking at him with so much hope in his face and heart.

McCoy smiled tenderly and held his lips up for another kiss.

Spock did not disappoint him.

"You know, I think it's time to go somewhere more private," McCoy murmured after awhile. "This is nice, but I might get carried away and shock the nice folks at that Country Club dance behind us. I'm getting weak in the knees the way it is."

"I could carry you back to the hotel."

"I'll walk under my own power," McCoy answered as he worried Spock's ear with his lips. "I wouldn't want you straining anything... until later."

They went back to McCoy’s room, disrobed, and lay down on the bed together. They were shy at first, but that all disappeared as soon as their arms closed around each other. It all seemed so natural and perfect. And right.

“Still sure about all of this?” McCoy teased later as he lightly ran his hands over Spock’s chest. The kissing and touching and stroking had been wonderful, and McCoy knew that they were ready for the next stage of their passion. His heart thudded with anticipation, but he would not turn away from love now. He'd waited too long for this, and so had Spock. It was theirs to take, and they would not cheat themselves of all they could have. Never again would they be lonely and yearning.

Spock caught the hand and kissed the fingers. He never broke eye contact with McCoy.

“You know, my lips are getting jealous of my fingers,” McCoy whispered.

Spock gave him a wise, knowing look. “We must not let your lips get jealous now, must we?” And with that, he pulled his arms around McCoy and drew him closer.

McCoy didn’t play hard-to-get. He was as eager to try for happiness as Spock was.

And, glory be, they both found it!

 

The next morning, Scotty gave Kirk a worried look.

“Mr. Spock is not in his room, Captain. And nobody’s seen him since sometime last night. I donna know the lad has gotten himself, but I do hope that he is okay.”

Kirk had a notion of where Spock could be, but had no idea of how he had gotten there.

But Kirk sure as hell would be interested in details, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing of the song "Blue Moon." It is included because it fits McCoy's melancholy mood.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its storylines.


End file.
